Once you have reached a professional level of fluency in English, the goal is to learn HOW to use your English to the best of your abilities. Namely, it’s time to work on your communication skills.
Even if you’re already a good communicator in your own language it is useful to consciously work on this skill in English.
Keep these seven super simple techniques in mind when communicating with others:
1. Listen better
If you want to improve your communication skills in general, and conversation skills in particular, the starting point is to become a better listener! Strange I know but sadly there are so few people interested in truly listening to another person that you’ll really stand out!
Why do we all struggle to listen well? Well, it is thought that dopamine (oft called “the pleasure hormone”) is released while we talk about ourselves and as a consequence most people spend the majority of a two way conversation talking about themselves because it’s enjoyable to do so.
Keep your focus and your attention on what the person speaking with you is saying. I know that sounds mind numbingly obvious but all too often it is easy to be thinking about how we will react to what they are saying rather than what they are actually saying.
Active listening is a skill that can be practiced.
You can show you are listening by giving the person eye contact, turning your body to theirs, using non-verbal body language to show agreement where appropriate – for example nodding your head and of course by actually listening and making sure you don’t allow yourself to be distracted.
Practice focusing entirely on what the other person is saying and make sure you wait until the other person is finished before speaking.
The first step in becoming a good communicator is indeed to listen well!
2. Use the right amount of eye contact
There’s a fine line between too much and too little eye contact. Too little and it’s possible it could be seen as either too submissive or disinterested. Too much and it could be viewed as aggressive. Finding the right balance is important and will of course be something you will have to observe and feel into when working with different cultures as the “right amount” varies in different places.
A good general rule to follow is to maintain eye contact when either of you is speaking and break eye contact when there is silence. This simple rule will improve your eye contact immensely. Experiment and see for yourself.
3. Ask open-ended questions
It’s hard to keep a conversation going if you ask questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Ask questions that require a more substantial answer. It’s also a good idea to avoid answering questions with a one-word answer to avoid appearing rude.
4. Be aware of your body language.
Your body language can make others view you as open and inviting or closed off. As mentioned, it is helpful to show you are listening by turning to face people while you’re communicating.
5. Know the purpose of the communication
Have a goal for every interaction, even if that goal is just to enjoy yourself. Let your goal guide you throughout the conversation.
6. Be certain that you understand.
It’s easy to misinterpret what someone is attempting to communicate to you. Take the time to ensure that you’ve understood the other person correctly. Ask questions. Ask for clarification if you’re unsure of the other person’s message. Restate what you believe has been communicated to you to ensure you have picked up the right message.
7. Be certain that you’re understood.
It’s just as important to ensure that the other person is clear on what you’re communicating. Ask questions and ensure that you’ve been understood. Ensure that you’re being clear in your message.
Try these simple tips. You’ll find consciously working to enhance your communication skills is an easy way to give a significant boost to multiple areas of your life!
